Thursday, April 22, 2010

People Change...

... or get more irritating.

Last week I embarked upon an adventure to visit some old friends. These two characters have been part of my closest inner circle for about as long as I can remember. We have a historical friendship and closeness which most families are not able to maintain. Unfortunately these friends moved away to live in the capital city of my province, they visit home on occasion and I get to see them then.

When they come home to visit all seems as normal, their personalities and mine mesh very well. We hang out and do the same old things we did as a group before, this being a combination of eating, gaming, watching movies, or talking. These friends are not very adventurous in comparison to other friends I have. This is fine, we always blamed our living in a small town with nothing to do as the main reason although me and my other friends always found something. I didn't let the dubious details get in the way of my friendship with the two I'm speaking of.

So I arrived in Blue Nose country, ready to hang out and fully enjoy my official ending of the university year with friends and adventures. I was received well at first and my friends and I got along like old times, catching up with talking, gaming and some television. The next day though I felt this overwhelming feeling of intrusion, my friends who are so set in their ways pretty much sat around listless and unenthusiastic.

I can accept that they may not want to do anything, but to the point where getting out of your own way is too much a chore seems a little ridiculous. Eventually I finally convinced them to go out, it was like pulling teeth for them it seemed. We arrived back decently late, and they both went to bed soon after. Now I was leaving the next day, and the reality of the situation is that if the shoe was on the other foot for me or anyone else in this inner circle I would stay up most of the night spending time with the close friend who was only in town a short time.

My final day there while I waited for the shuttle home, I was met with sheer contempt. One friend had gone to work, the other was awake too busy doing their own thing to bother coming out of his room to talk or hang out. I eventually went in to try and talk with him a bit before I left and was basically treated like a bother, so I went back to packing. The rest of this trip was spent getting one word responses.

I really don't understand why these two have become so introverted. They always were growing up, but never to this point where it has become a detriment to friendships.

I suppose this serves as a lesson that all people can change, and unexpectedly. Friends can quickly turn into barely that, and act in ways which are so uncharacteristic to their assumed nature.

That brings up a good point. Culturally we are encouraged to assume that no one can change. Instances where someone is considered a social deviant such as Alcoholics, People who cheat/steal, or have some other distorted behavior which doesn't mesh well with the accepted "reality" of culture.

Realistically when one looks at the patterns of human behavior it can easily be surmised that people do change, adapt, and mutate almost constantly. The variables for these changes in ones persona and literally endless, and quite unstoppable. To assume that people can't change is a cultural fallacy, and one which can trap a person who isn't aware of it.

I suppose this serves as a future reference point to not let myself be naive and ignorant to the literal reality before me.


Caitlin_Ann said...

Your post scares me. Regardless, I think you need a better friend..I like the one I met and I understand having to work, yada yada yada..its the other one that seems as crappy as you deem my friends to be. Anyways, hope you feel better about them soon. Love you.

Kelly said...

Oooh... your blog looks sharper now. Cool. But did you know that black and red are the colors of Satan. Hmmm. This must mean... you're Satan! Don't worry. Your secret is safe with me. :)

Anyway, I can understand how you feel about your friends behaving in an unfriendly manner -if not downright rude. It looks like they would want to make the most of your short time with them. I've been having problems that are similar to yours with my own group. I've been thinking about writing my own post about how they've changed for weeks now-in a way, for the better for themselves. But in a way, worse for everyone else.

As for distorted behavior which doesn't mesh well with the accepted "reality" of culture, I think that society, as a whole, has a kind of mob mentality. If someone seems different or believes differently from the majority, that person will likely go up against tremendous adversity of which they shouldn't give in. Unfortunately, the need for belonging to the same group, clique or something similar has a mysterious power over people. Is it a "strength in numbers" mentality or a blind gullibility that orchestrates this beat to this silly dance of humankind.

Not for me.