Hello everyone, it has been quite a while hasn't it. Unfortunately that lengthy spell of unarticulated thinking has lapsed into a spell of complete intellectual disorder. In simple terms, I'm very busy. School is finishing up, and my immediate family is in chaos. This very family happens to be the topic of discussion for today.
Family unity has always been something which surprised me, I often see it in other stable family conditions but not in my own. It used to be different. There is a lengthy history of some misdoings and turbulence. So lets look at this in hypothetical terms.
Imagine a little girl, her father a no good abusive drunk her mother a pawn to the abusive drunk scared for her own safety. Now on to an uncle and aunt who adopted this little girl for long periods of time. She had her own bedroom, and was given everything she could have ever desired. The uncle even stepped in and took care of the abusive father, chasing him away forever.
The reality of this story is about my cousin, who was always more like my sister since she lived with me. My parents took her in during that difficult time in her life, and my own father acted as hers as well.
She moved away because of university, but we went up to visit her all the time. Gave her money, food, and anything else to make her stay away from home more comfortable. My parents treated her as if she was sprung from their own seed, she was truly loved.
Suddenly my father had a falling out with her mother, over a stupid circumstance. This girl siding with her mother cut the only father figure she ever had, and someone who loved and cared for her deeply, out of her life. They have not spoken for years now.
I now see this is a trend which is occurring in many family units, friendships, and other social interacting centers. This is that people forget about all the good and become transfixed on the bad. In a situation like my family's my father did thousands of good deeds, and one bad deed which wasn't even that bad had the power to negate all that good.
Even in terms of mathematics this doesn't make sense, but there is a mechanism innate in people which seems to inflate spite. I'm sure everyone of my following has done it at one time or another, it seems very human. However now that I'm aware of it I'll be doing my best not to repeat these patterns.
Unfortunately I don't think it will change in my family, the little girl I spoke about is now in her 30's and getting married this summer. My parents who had a huge hand in her upbringing and early adult life were not invited, either was I because I've been black listed by association.
Funny, I still recall knowing her as my sister. A guess this is a lesson in not forgetting the past.
1 comment:
Mmmm... That's depressing. Reminds me too much of what we have going on in our family. Too many unforgiving, bad feelings over things that are too trivial or misunderstood. Big, depressing rifts in the family... a family that used to show they cared.
I hope that your cousin comes to her senses someday and reunites or, at least, talks with your dad and the rest of the family.
Thanks for bringin' me down, man. :) Just kidding. Just in case the happy face didn't let you in on that.
More importantly, I see your point. People, in general, tend to dwell on the negative (it seems to be deepening in our society) instead of the good. I think this is because of two things. 1) Half of it is because people are surrounded by negative influences because of the media's ongoing obsession with telling people the worst news of the day and 2) The other half is: The crappy shit like poverty, wars, global warming, genitically altered food are really happening. I think there may be something wrong with someone who doesn't care about those negative aspects of today's world.
Post a Comment